Parents, do you understand how we can help our children cope with discrimination, bullying, aggression, bullying at school during the pandemic?
Advice for kids:
- Ask the offender — “Why do you think this is [funny/true/flattering]?”
- Use “I” to express your feelings — “This leaves me [disappointed/hurt/excited].”
- Practice how you respond when someone is slightly offensive to you.
Advice for parents:
- Create an open space where your child can share their experiences of being offended without judging right or wrong, and listen, understand and accept your child’s feelings.
- Learn more about it, offer advice, and look for multiple solutions together
2. Discrimination and Bullying
Are you worried about your child being discriminated against/bullied?
During the pandemic, Dr. Weiyang Xie of the University of Notre Dame, who conducts psychological research and clinical psychological counseling for college students, and her colleagues conducted a survey of Chinese parents, in which 258 parents answered the following questions:
“How worried are you about your child (or yourself) being bullied or discriminated against during COVID-19?”
Only 4% said they were not worried about their children being discriminated against during the pandemic. Twenty-two percent said they were somewhat concerned, 48 percent somewhat concerned and 26 percent very concerned.
How does the school combat bullying?
Each school district in the U.S. K-12 system sets its own anti-bullying policy. The school has a clear anti-bullying policy in its student code and school rules.”
Similarly, in universities, there are rules, reporting procedures, and intervention mechanisms.
Parents are advised to take a moment to review the school district’s policies and rules on hate and racism with their children.
What kind of behavior is bullying?
- Physical aggression (hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking)
- Teasing and abuse
- Spread rumors or tell people not to be friends with someone
- Cyberbullying (Bullying doesn’t just happen at school these days. It can happen at home, too.)
How do children deal with discrimination and bullying?
- Ask in a gentle way. For example: “I don’t know what you mean, could you please clarify…”
- Provide explanations or education. For example: “We should not associate the name of the virus with a specific group of people because it will harm the whole group.”
- It’s more acceptable to tell someone how you feel in the first person rather than the second person. For example: “I’m sad” (instead of, “You’re making me sad”).
- If the other person doesn’t accept it at the moment, avoid arguing, and choose another time or occasion to restate your position.
What should parents do when their children are being bullied?
- First, parents should “listen, ask and observe more” to determine whether their children are being bullied.
- Discuss bullying with your child before school starts.
- Give children support, don’t blame and criticize.
- Be sure to tell the child that safety is the first thing, if you feel dangerous, to go away immediately.
- Tell your child who they can turn to as a trusted adult when they are bullied.
- Don’t let your child fight back or stay silent when bullied.
- Let children learn to make friends.
- Teach your children how to protect themselves.
- Work with school teachers to intervene.
- Calling the bully’s parents may not work.
If a child is being bullied or discriminated at school, should he/she tell the teacher, principal, police or parents first?
This can be done in the following order:
- Instructor (Counselor)
- Assistant Principal
- Parents can also report the case to CRT and OCR on their own (see the following figure for details). Once the case is registered, the school must respond.
- 采取平和的询问方式 。例如：“我不明白你的意思，可否请你明确一下……”